Wednesday, November 18, 2009

11.18.09

when i was younger, marriage is not something that i ever hoped or dreamed of. i guess i just didn't understand the hype - plus i was the little tomboy that ran around the playground with the boys, not braiding hair with the girls from my class.

after getting older and digging deeper, i realized that my reason for not being in love with the idea of marriage was because of my parents. my parents were never married although they have been together since 1985. i was born in 1990 and it was planned, but still, no marriage. the two of them did not see a point in it. my dad said he did not need a piece of paper to validate his love for my mom.

they separated when i was one, got back together, when i was almost four, separated when i was ten, got back together when i was twelve and have been together since (i am currently nineteen). talk about an emotional rollercoaster (be sure to listen to the song "emotional rollercoaster" by vivian green - it will be well worth your while).

anyway, this past christmas, my dad had this heart to heart with me. he explained that my mom is the only person he wants to be with - she knows him better than he knows himself and loves him unconditionally. put simply, a life without her is not an option. so, even after all these years, he wanted to tie the knot.

now keep in mind, my mom had all the benefits of a wife: love, trust, communication, security, stability, comfort and so much more. she also had financial benefits that most wives have - the mortgage is taken care of, her car payment and if anything ever happened to my father, she and us (my brother and i) would be well taken care of. so why marriage? why now?

my dad said my mom deserves to be married - she deserves that title and gratification because although she does not say it, she wants it - even if it is on some small level.

over this past spring break, my parents got the marriage documents. i did not think much of it - getting the documents is one thing, signing them is another. this past tuesday, my mom and i were simply texting one another like we do almost every single day. i asked her why she wasn't at work and she told me that she and my dad tied the knot. she was so excited. and my dad cannot stop calling her mrs. tappan. it is almost as if this is what they needed to make their relationship come full circle.

it honestly brought tears to my eyes - and for those of you that know me, i am not the teary type. it makes me that much more excited to get married to my prince charming - actually, my king; that is the only thing suitable for a queen like myself.

=]



Monday, November 9, 2009

11.9.09

love is overcoming fear.